Billie: (whispering) “Father.”

Doug: (sleeping)

Billie: “Faaaaaather. Father. FATHER.”

Doug: (Barely awake) “Hm? Yes, Billie?”

Billie: “How do you print pictures off your phone?”

Doug: (Goes right back to sleep)

Billie: “Father! Awaken father! This is important!”

Doug: (sleeping)

Me: “Billie. Let us sleep. Why do you need to print pictures at 8am on a Saturday?”

Billie: “For the revolution, Mother. Father! Wake up! We revolt at noon! I need to print the pictures now!”

Doug: (sleeping)

Me: “Wait. What revolution is happening?”

Billie: THE revolution, mother. The one that is happening in all of us.”

Me: “I’m going to need you to let us sleep. If you want a good revolution then we’re going to have to be rested.”

Billie: (throws her whole body on me hella dramatically) “THE REVOLUTION RESTS FOR NO ONE. NOW LET US GO, FATHER! TO THE PRINTERRR!!!”

Doug: (Still. Friggin. Sleeping.)

Billie: “Good point. You stay here. I’ll rally the troops.”