Billie: “How can you wear that underwear?! It looks so uncomfortable.”
Me: “I like my underwear, thank you very much.”
Billie: “You should wear boy shorts underwear like me. They’re the best.”
Me: “You can wear whatever underwear you’re comfortable with and so can I. Do me a solid and don’t police my underwear.”
Billie: “Ha! ‘Dont Police My Underwear.’ I like that. I’m going to write a book and call it that.”
Me: “What, pray tell, is the plot of this book?”
Billie: “You’ll have to wait and see, Mother. But just know it’ll be AMAZING and there will be LOTS of pictures.”

…Great. Just… great.