A Most Apt Similie?

Billie: “I can’t do this. You can’t hug me. You smell like peanut butter and jelly in a dip pot of cameras.”

Me: “Wha… What would that even smell like?”

Billie: “It smells like peanut butter mixed with cameras and they’re burning. And they mix up to make cameras you can eat that taste like fired peanut butter but there’s no electricity because your smell put the electricity out and it feels like you’re tasting your own body.”

Me: “Whoa. What?”

Billie: “I’m trying to say you have bad breath.”

…she could’ve just said that out the gate but noooo.
Great. Now I’m craving peanut butter.

A Most Apt Similie?

My Five-Year-Old’s Musings On Love

Me: “Did you know that I love you?”
Billie: “Of course I know that.”
Me: “What?! Who told you??”
Billie: “Nobody told me. I just love you a lot. And when you love someone really, really a lot, like a super big lotta love, sometimes they have so much love that they give you some back.”

My Five-Year-Old’s Musings On Love