Things I have said to my six year old today:

“Wait, what? What about a T-Rex’s vagina?”

“No. No buffalos in the restaurant. That’s a rule.”

“I don’t think you can do that and call it a ‘face five.’ Let’s be real: that’s a headbutt. Also: you should probably apologize to your father.”

“Can you please finish sitting on the toilet singing ’99 things of poop on the wall?’ There are people outside ready to use the bathroom.”