​For the last week, this has been Billie’s morning routine:
1) Refuse to show any signs of waking until mom walks in playing Stevie Wonder’s “My Cherie Amour.” Slightly stir.
2) Request “just one more” song. Her favorite song. Inform mom that waking up is solely contigent on favorite song being played. Then close eyes and smile serenely while MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This” blares in her ears.
And

3) Once the final “whoa whoa whoas” of MC Hammer’s masterpiece have petered out fully, roll over and look at mom sweetly and with all the adoration in the world. Then bite her face.
Repeat daily.