Billie: “Good morning, mom! Thank you so much for making me pancakes and bacon for breakfast!”

Me: “Wait. What. Is this your way of telling me I need to make you breakfast?”

Billie: “What’s that? You’ll let me put chocolate chips in my pancakes?? You’re the best, mom.”

Me: “Literally just came in here to make myself coffee—”

Billie: “And sausage too?! Awesome!”

Me: “Get out of my kitchen.”