Billie: “All I really know about mommy is that she’s crazy.”

Doug: “That’s not everything. Your mother is artistic and kind. She’s one of the most giving and genuine people–”

Me: “Ew. Gross. Stop this. Stop this right now.”

Doug: “She also LOVES when you say nice things about her.”

Me: “You are not in charge of my eulogy. This is a snore fest.”

Billie: “So. My mom’s crazy AND she hates feelings. Got it.”