Billie’s sense of style could very well be the only reason I believe in a spiritual power greater than my own. I have seen that child put together an outfit comprised of 6 different types of patterns, two different bathing suits (one one- piece and one bikini bottom), a tutu, a scarf, one rainbow tennis shoe, one princess tennis shoe, and a jean jacket and BY GOLLY IT WORKED. Not only did the outfit work conceptually, I daresay it looked good. Really good.
Me? I live in gym shorts. I know this did not come from me.
If I had to guess this gift was either a) inherited from her super stylish father or b) she sucks the creative soul juice out of all of our artist friends. Either is a possibility.
Anyway, I digress, the kid’s got style.
Continue reading “ALL MISMATCH ALL THE TIME!”
children
THIS JUST FRIGGIN HAPPENED (see also: my kid thinks she’s funny)
On Thursdays Billie and I head to the local shelter to hang with the kids and help out if we can. When we arrived today, however; there were no other kids- just me and two adult advocates. We all decided to hang out and chat while Billie colored and played with play-doh.
Halfway through our conversation Billie walked up and showed us her drawing.
Me: “That’s beautiful! Can you show these ladies how well you can write?”
Billie: “Sure!”
She then writes her name.
Me: “Awesome job! Can you spell ‘pops?'”
She then writes “pops.”
One of the advocates tells her to write “mommy.”
She thinks a moment, then writes the letter “H.”
Me: “You’re absolutely right- My name is ‘Heather’ and starts with an ‘H.’ But she asked you to spell the word ‘Mommy.’ What letter does ‘mommy’ start with? Mmmmm- mmmmm…?”
Billie thinks a moment. Writes one more letter then says, quite definitively, “Nope. THAT’S your name.”
Then she walks away.
Below is what she wrote:
Continue reading “THIS JUST FRIGGIN HAPPENED (see also: my kid thinks she’s funny)”
Since We’re Talking About: Failing (At Breakfast- But Totally WINNING At Imagination)
FLASHBACK: February 11, 2014
Me: “Dude. How is our dog always ending up with Cheez-its in her crate?”
Billie: “Well, mommy. I think her was hungry.”
Me: “If *she* was hungry, she can eat her doggy food. I mean, this bag was opened so cleanly.”
Billie: “She opened it with her doggie claws.”
Me: “Oh, yea? Did she also magically levitate to the top shelf of the pantry to retrieve the bag of Cheez-its from the closed box?”
Billie: “No. She got her doggie friends to come in here and make her steps and she walked up to the top shelf, opened the box with her teef, and got the bag.”
Me: “…Billie. Is there anything you want to tell me?”
Billie: (thinks a moment) “Yes. Jazzie’s doggie friends also ate the cake in the refrigerator and den frew your shoes in the trash.”
Right.
_____
It was my last good pair of shoes, too. The others have *magically disappeared* as well. I’m going to have to ban all imaginary doggie friends in order to keep my wardrobe in tact.
Also: my kid totally went to school with a belly full of cake and Cheez-its this morning. Sigh.
A+ parenting, ya’ll.
Since We’re Talking About: Failing (At Basic Manners)
FLASHBACK: February 14, 2014
Billie’s daycare teacher’s husband is a reverend who sometimes comes to visit the kids. He and Billie have an interesting relationship.
Reverend Franklin: “Hey there, Billie! Good morning!”
Billie: “Good Morning baby! I like your poo poo face.”
Me: (freaking out just a bit) “Billie! Reverend, I am so sorry about that. Billie, that is not funny, love, we need to—“
Billie: “Mommy. Poo poo is always funny.”
Me: “Sweetie–“
Reverend Franklin: “She’s right. Poo poo is always funny. I like your poo poo face too, girl.”
What? I– what??
DAMNIT, REVEREND. YOU’RE NOT HELPING.
Billie's Momma 