A Sex Positive Lullaby For The Ages

Every night we give Billie the option of singing a lullaby or making up her own. Tonight she chose to sing this:

“Bras are awesome

Bras are cool

When bras are around

You can see a boob!”

She continued for five minutes but it mostly just went “boobies boobies boobies yay” after that.

A Sex Positive Lullaby For The Ages

My Daughter Is My Soulmate

When I was little I never fully grasped the concept of a soulmate. I understood it like this: the soul was a pizza missing a slice and someone came along with a slice that exact size (with the same toppings and everything) to complete you.

And, honestly?
That seemed lame.
One dimensional.
It excluded a world of people, possibilities, and circumstances that I had yet to imagine.

I couldn’t stomach limiting myself that way.

Lately I’ve started to view the soul as a galaxy.
A vast and deep neighborhood of constellations circling in, out, around, and through you- unbound by time, physical form, or logical necessity. Just stars. And energy. And light.
And, by that logic, a soulmate is anyone who enters into your self-made universe (with stars and constellations all their own) and expands it. They give you more to explore, they offer answers to questions you didn’t know you had, they challenge and inspire you to get outside of the comfort of your own silly solar system and stretch into infinite darkness until you find whole communities of light you didn’t know existed. They bring parts of yourself to you that you didn’t realize were yours. They offer you a complete sky’s worth of different viewpoints.
A soulmate is anyone who gives you growth in that way.
And you can have hundreds, hell *thousands* of soul mates. You can expand your world an infinite number of times in an infinite number of directions, never limiting yourself, going as far as you can before the fear freezes you.
Your universe is only as grand as the souls you let complete it.
And, for me, my favorite little soulmate of them all is Billie. It will forever be Billie. She offers me parts of my heart that I didn’t know were missing. She challenges me, enrages me, scares me, and makes me hysterical with love. She’s the most brilliant galaxy that I’ve ever been able to set my telescope on. She’s precious and ferocious and terrifyingly astute. She has the ability to shatter my heart then completely re-inflate it in one sentence. She’s the perfect mess of emotions and tenacity.
She’s my soulmate, my heart, and everything that makes me smile rolled into one incredibly ridiculous child with the most insane comedic timing. I thank my stars every day for her.
And on this and every day I am simply thankful.
For her.
For whatever fate that made it possible for me to be her mommy.
For the opportunity to be invited into her universe.
I am grateful to have found a unique soulmate that completes me in surprising ways.
And I look at the sky now and I’m filled with peace.
My Daughter Is My Soulmate

Gravity is Bringing Us Down

Billie: “I’m thinking about a piece of string. If you put something on it, that thing will just fall down. That’s gravity. But if you tie a knot in the string, that thing will stop. Gravity is put on pause there. But it’s always there. I like gravity. It keeps me on my bed. If I didn’t have it I would float up above and I wouldn’t be able to rest on my bed or feel my pillow. Gravity is like magic that you can’t see but feel everyday. It’s like love that way. But love doesn’t keep my pillow on my bed. So I like gravity better I think.”

Gravity is Bringing Us Down

The Truth Comes Out

Billie: “Do you smell that smell? It smells like a bread I used to have when I was a baby. I used to sneak it when you weren’t looking. I was a secret agent baby and I had a secret agent baby home and a secret agent baby computer. And I made an invention to make me grow bigger so that I would like that food that I’m smelling now. That was when I was little and now I am big. But I am still a secret agent.”

The Truth Comes Out

Today’s Billie Quotes

“I can’t take a shower. All I can do is stay alive. And poop.”

And

“The Sandman got me in my eyes. Right in my eyes. All they want to do is close. I don’t think he knew that I was trying to party.”

Today’s Billie Quotes

Cat’s Got Her Grade

“How was your day at school today?”

Billie: “Good.”

“Were you a good girl today?”

Billie: “No. But I was a great kitty cat.”

“Did the teacher want you to be a kitty cat?”

Billie: “No.”

“Did she ask you to stop?”

Billie: “Yes. Again and again and again.”

“Did you stop?”

Billie: “No.”

“Why not?”

Billie: “Because I was a kitty cat. Kitty cats don’t know how to stop.”

Either she’s as obstinate as her mother or she’s taking method acting to a whole new level.

Cat’s Got Her Grade

The Zombie Struggle is Real

“Dude. You’re naked. Still. Why are you still naked?”

Billie: “I hear noises outside. I hear the scratching. I think it’s zombies coming up from the ground. It’s zombies coming up from the ground to eat our whole brains out!”

“And that’s why you’re naked? Why can’t you get dressed? Do you really wanna fight zombies naked?”

Billie: “I CANT FOCUS ON CLOTHES WHEN THERE ARE ZOMBIES, MOM.”

This is our morning so far, folks.

The Zombie Struggle is Real

The Princess That Looked Like Her

I have not had the best day today.

After the hellish world of suck, I still had to pick up Billie from school and go grocery shopping.

Grocery shopping with a hyperactive 4 year old is like trying to bottle lightening.

Anyways, while in the store, she sees a princess Tiana costume.

….Now, Billie already has costumes. Loads of ’em. That child lives her life in costumes. But I have never seen her eyes go so big or her smile get so wide.

“MOMMY! SHE LOOKS LIKE ME! THAT COSTUME IS FOR ME!! She has curly hair like mine, mommy!! She’s pretty like me. And she’s a princess!! Mommy. I have never seen anything more beautiful. Have you seen
anything so beautiful?”

There were four other people around us at the time. Two women with a kid, and an older, middle-aged, white guy with glasses. The women with the kid gave me an understanding smile, but it was when the man with the glasses made eye contact with me that I realized he was about to cry.

He said, “if you don’t get her that costume, I am buying it for her.”

So now, in addition to all the others, we have a new costume. But this one feels particularly special to me.

And my bad day just got a little more magical.

IMG_6592

Thanks, Billie. Mommy loves you.

The Princess That Looked Like Her