Just Checking

Billie: “That boy right there is the one who keeps knocking my blocks down.”

Me: “Really? I’m so sorry, Billie. That must be frustrating.”

Billie: “Really frustrating. I build and build and he just knocks my stuff down. I ask him to play but he just pushes my buildings over.”

Me: “Sometimes, when people destroy our buildings they actually help us see the flaws in our design. So that, next time, we can build something even stronger.”

Billie: “Like the pigs and the big bad wolf?”

Me: “Exactly like that.”

Billie: “So, then, I can build something so strong his tiny muscles can’t even touch!”

Me: “Exactly.”

Billie: “But also- he kinda did a mean thing.”

Me: “Oh, yea, dude. That was a totally mean thing to do.”

Billie: “…Mom?”

Me: “Yes, love?”

Billie: “Didn’t the big bad wolf fall into a fire place and catch fire?”

Me: “Billie. You cannot set someone on fire because they knocked your blocks down.”

Billie: “Ok. Just checking.”

Just Checking

In Honor Of Halloween… And Nudity

FLASHBACK: October 29, 2014

“Dude. You’re naked. Still. Why are you still naked?”

Billie: “I hear noises outside. I hear the scratching. I think it’s zombies coming up from the ground. It’s zombies coming up from the ground to eat our whole brains out!”

“And that’s why you’re naked? Why can’t you get dressed? Do you really wanna fight zombies naked?”

Billie: “I CANT FOCUS ON CLOTHES WHEN THERE ARE ZOMBIES, MOM.”

This is our morning so far, folks.

In Honor Of Halloween… And Nudity

Toddlers & The Art Of Scapegoating

FLASHBACK: August 11, 2014

I just found an ink pen, finger paint, and a costume zebra tail in my bed sheets.

Me: “You know, I can’t be sure, but I think this is your fault.”

Billie: “Well. If you can’t be sure then we should just blame it on daddy.”

Solid plan of action, kid.

Says the future politician
Says the future politician
Toddlers & The Art Of Scapegoating

Breaking The Fourth Wall

Flashback: July 28, 2013

Billie: Momma! I got jokes!
Me: Oh, yea? Let’s hear one.
Billie: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: I don’t know, why?
Billie: Because he knows I’m telling a joke!
Me: Wait- what?
Billie: BAhAHAhAhaHa!!!
Me: That’s a very interesting–
Billie: And then the cat crossed the road and the chicken said, “whatchoo doin’, cat? GET OUT OF MY JOKE!”

…Five minutes later and this joke is still going. Plus side? This is the most self aware joke I’ve heard in a while.

Breaking The Fourth Wall

And You Give Yourself Away

When I was little I was prone to epic tantrums.
Like, balls to the wall, burst your ear drums type tantrums.

One day, my mom noticed that I would calm down whenever U2’s “With or Without You” played. It grounded me in a very visceral way. It quickly became our song. Whenever it came on, we would smile at each other, turn up the radio, and sing it at the top of our lungs.

Billie is currently staying with my mom for the rest of June in California and, apparently, the song came on the radio. My mom explained that it was our song. Billie said, “I want it, too. It’s all of our song. We share it together.”

Now, if we can just completely ignore the fact that the song is about unrequited love and a severely codependent relationship then this would be just about the sweetest thing ever.

And You Give Yourself Away

My Daughter Is My Soulmate

When I was little I never fully grasped the concept of a soulmate. I understood it like this: the soul was a pizza missing a slice and someone came along with a slice that exact size (with the same toppings and everything) to complete you.

And, honestly?
That seemed lame.
One dimensional.
It excluded a world of people, possibilities, and circumstances that I had yet to imagine.

I couldn’t stomach limiting myself that way.

Lately I’ve started to view the soul as a galaxy.
A vast and deep neighborhood of constellations circling in, out, around, and through you- unbound by time, physical form, or logical necessity. Just stars. And energy. And light.
And, by that logic, a soulmate is anyone who enters into your self-made universe (with stars and constellations all their own) and expands it. They give you more to explore, they offer answers to questions you didn’t know you had, they challenge and inspire you to get outside of the comfort of your own silly solar system and stretch into infinite darkness until you find whole communities of light you didn’t know existed. They bring parts of yourself to you that you didn’t realize were yours. They offer you a complete sky’s worth of different viewpoints.
A soulmate is anyone who gives you growth in that way.
And you can have hundreds, hell *thousands* of soul mates. You can expand your world an infinite number of times in an infinite number of directions, never limiting yourself, going as far as you can before the fear freezes you.
Your universe is only as grand as the souls you let complete it.
And, for me, my favorite little soulmate of them all is Billie. It will forever be Billie. She offers me parts of my heart that I didn’t know were missing. She challenges me, enrages me, scares me, and makes me hysterical with love. She’s the most brilliant galaxy that I’ve ever been able to set my telescope on. She’s precious and ferocious and terrifyingly astute. She has the ability to shatter my heart then completely re-inflate it in one sentence. She’s the perfect mess of emotions and tenacity.
She’s my soulmate, my heart, and everything that makes me smile rolled into one incredibly ridiculous child with the most insane comedic timing. I thank my stars every day for her.
And on this and every day I am simply thankful.
For her.
For whatever fate that made it possible for me to be her mommy.
For the opportunity to be invited into her universe.
I am grateful to have found a unique soulmate that completes me in surprising ways.
And I look at the sky now and I’m filled with peace.
My Daughter Is My Soulmate