I’ve been super sick today. I barely had enough in me to get Billie from school. When I got there, I was met by her teacher, her face stern.
“Today was career day and all the students were asked what they wanted to be when they grew up. Billie said she wanted to be a kitty cat. I told her that she couldn’t be a cat and she needed to pick a different profession. Do you know what she told me?”
“No,” I responded. I barely had enough energy to stand let alone continue this conversation.
“She told me-” the teacher stops herself short, deciding instead to make Billie take accountability for her reactions, “Billie? Billie tell your mother what you said.”
Billie looked at me very carefully, “I told her…” she continued staring at me like she was steeling herself for the worst, “I told her fine. Then I would just become a teacher so I can tell everyone what to do with their lives.”
And I laughed.
I laughed so hard.
Needless to say it was not the reaction the teacher was looking for.
I work a lot.
Like, A LOT.
And I love my job. It’s ridiculous and fulfilling and filled with the coolest people on this (and every other) universe.
But I work a lot.
And, when you work a lot, you tend to miss out on hanging out with your child.
So, tonight, I came home to a Billie who was dead asleep. Billie has often been dead asleep when I crawl in to hug her goodnight. In the beginning, I was racked with guilt. I was a terrible mom. I felt the pressure to be there for every waking moment on top of being there for my family financially. It has always been tough and stressful and I constantly struggle with my role as a mommy in the workforce.
Tonight I came home and kissed a thoroughly asleep Billie. She unconsciously wrapped her arms around my neck as I kissed her cheek.
“Did you catch all the dragons, Mommy?” She says this without waking up.
Yes I did.
Mommy loves you.
Billie: “Mom. I can’t keep talking to boring people. When I talk to boring people my tongue wants to run out of my mouth. My words die. I have to save my tongue. From now on, I just want the weird people. They make my mouth happy.”
Billie: “You’re wrong, mom. I did not eat the candy. I just bit it with my teeth. I said, ‘oh, yous a bad candy. I will bite your face off!’ and I bit it. I didn’t eat it, mom. My mouth just put it in time out.”