The Enforcer

Billie: “Mommy?”

Me: “Yes?”

Billie: “Did you eat my candy last night?”

Me: “…Yes? (sigh) Yes. I did. I’m sorry.”

Billie: “NO! NO, MOMMMY! No. You did not listen to your brain. YOU DID NOT LISTEN TO YOUR BRAIN! Your brain was telling you, ‘That’s Billie’s candy. She is going to want that’ and you just said, ‘Nooooo brain. I can’t hear you, brain. I’ma eat up the candy. Eat it right up into my belly!'”

Me: “Billie, I’m very sorry. I will replace the candy–”

Billie: “Your eyes and your brain are best friends, did you know that? Your eyes and your brain are best friends. Your eyes see and your brain remembers. When your eyes and brain don’t talk then bad things happen. Like you EATING MY CANDY.”

Me: “Bills, I get it. I said I was sorry.”

Billie: “Ok. Ok. It’s OK. I just… I wanted that candy for breakfast.”

Me: “You can’t have candy for breakfast.”

Billie: “Well, I can’t NOW.”

…She is going to be a force to be reckoned with during Halloween…

The Enforcer


credit: Vanessa Lucas (
Zombie Billie
credit: Vanessa Lucas (

Billie: “You’re wrong, mom. I did not eat the candy. I just bit it with my teeth. I said, ‘oh, yous a bad candy. I will bite your face off!’ and I bit it. I didn’t eat it, mom. My mouth just put it in time out.”