Role Models

I’ve been super sick today. I barely had enough in me to get Billie from school. When I got there, I was met by her teacher, her face stern.
“Today was career day and all the students were asked what they wanted to be when they grew up. Billie said she wanted to be a kitty cat. I told her that she couldn’t be a cat and she needed to pick a different profession. Do you know what she told me?”
“No,” I responded. I barely had enough energy to stand let alone continue this conversation.
“She told me-” the teacher stops herself short, deciding instead to make Billie take accountability for her reactions, “Billie? Billie tell your mother what you said.”
Billie looked at me very carefully, “I told her…” she continued staringĀ at me like she was steeling herself for the worst, “I told her fine. Then I would just become a teacher so I can tell everyone what to do with their lives.”

And I laughed.
I laughed so hard.
Needless to say it was not the reaction the teacher was looking for.

Role Models

Resolution

Maddie (6): “My New Year’s resolution is to be kind to my family and love them everyday.”

Me: “That’s an amazing resolution! What’s yours, Billie?”

Billie: “Kitties.”

Me: “Kitties?”

Billie: “Yup! Kitties.”

Me: “What, exactly, are you resolving to do with kitties this year?”

Billie: “I’m going to eat them.”

Me: “Your New Year’s Resolution is to eat a cat?”

Billie: “Yup.”

Me: “What? Why??”

Billie: “I’ve never done it before. It seems like a good idea.”

Resolution

Stray Cat Strut

Stray cats rules our backyard. Billie likes to pretend that they’re hers. The latest cat to grace her presence was surreptitiously dubbed “Locke Nemmernon Carrot Robot.”

Now she’s in the backyard with a stick singing “here kitty, here kitty, here here Locke Nemmernon! Don’t you wanna be my carrot robot?”

I’d apologize to the neighbors but it’s a strict policy of mine not to apologize for awesome.

Stray Cat Strut