Lost In Translation

FLASHBACK: November 13, 2013

Me: “okay, you’re almost ready for school. You just need to finish your breakfast, brush your teeth, and put on your shoes.”

Billie: “OK. I need to take off my clothes and play with my baby lion.”

Me: “yea, no. That’s not even close to what I said. What did I just tell you to do?”

Billie: “you said, ‘OOOOOHHweeee Billie Baby you needta dance yo lil booty off bay-beh!'”

Me: “nope. Not what I said.”

Billie: “But, mommy, (starts chanting) you like mah boooooty you like mah booooottttaye!!!!”

Me: sigh.

Billie: (now dancing in circles) “Shake-ah shake-ah shake-ah shake-ah shakin my booootaye! Shake-ah shake-ah shake-ah shake-ah shakin my booootaye!!!!”

…Ya’ll, if I could make it just one morning without this kid showin’ me her butt I would consider it the greatest of all personal wins.

Lost In Translation

Stray Cat Strut

Stray cats rules our backyard. Billie likes to pretend that they’re hers. The latest cat to grace her presence was surreptitiously dubbed “Locke Nemmernon Carrot Robot.”

Now she’s in the backyard with a stick singing “here kitty, here kitty, here here Locke Nemmernon! Don’t you wanna be my carrot robot?”

I’d apologize to the neighbors but it’s a strict policy of mine not to apologize for awesome.

Stray Cat Strut