Oh, Good. At Least You Weren’t Doing Something Weird.

Billie: “Good night, sweet bubble. You may be dead in this world, but you live in my heart. Bless America, you friend of my soul. Find your bliss.”

Me: “Did you… Did you just hold a funeral for a popped soap bubble?”

Billie: “Of course I did.”

Oh, Good. At Least You Weren’t Doing Something Weird.

That Tricksy Sun

FLASHBACK: August 14, 2014

Billie: “Mom. The sun is tricking us. It’s yellow, and it puts its yellow on everything. On the trees, on the benches, in the park… Even the sky is different looking because of the sun. And then you try to look into it and it puts spots in your eyes. You try to say, “Hey sun! Don’t put your yellow on everything! Colors are not the same!” And it puts spots in your eyes!

Without the sun colors would not look the same. We just see colors the way the sun wants us to. It’s tricky, the sun is.”

There is a metaphor in here somewhere that I cannot find because it is 7am and my kid decided to be a philosopher rather than sleep like a normal person.

That Tricksy Sun

“My Tongue Wants to Run Out of My Mouth”

Billie: “Mom. I can’t keep talking to boring people. When I talk to boring people my tongue wants to run out of my mouth. My words die. I have to save my tongue. From now on, I just want the weird people. They make my mouth happy.”

“My Tongue Wants to Run Out of My Mouth”

No (Chicken) Bones About It

It’s 7am. I proceed to enter into a 30 minute long debate with my kid as to why she cannot keep her half eaten chicken bone (from dinner the night before) as a pet.

“But, mommy! I promise to kiss it and take it on all the walks!!”

What?
No, dude. Just no.

…I feel like 70% of parenting is just constantly saying to yourself, “why is this even a thing?”

No (Chicken) Bones About It