Breakfast for Dinner

My Plan:
Make Billie breakfast for dinner and clean the house before Doug gets home.

What Actually Happened:
Start making bacon
Dog flips over it’s dish
Clean up dog dish
Get out ingredients for mini muffin tin pancakes
Let Billie help
Salt spills all over the floor
Turn bacon
Slip in salt upon closing the oven door after turning bacon
Billie pours milk in the Dog’s dish, because, naturally, it “makes my bones healthy so it will make her bones healthy. Oh! Maybe we can make pancakes IN the dog dish!!”
Clean up dog dish
Stir pancake ingredients
Too thick- add milk
Run out of milk- add yogurt
Billie dumps yogurt on her face trying to pour it into her mouth
Dog tries to lick it off
Clean Billie
Remove dog from room
Pancakes still too thick
“The batter feels like play-doh, mommy! Stick your hand in it”
Scratch making pancakes, play with “play-doh”
Play doh gets on walls
Billie slips in salt
Where did that yogurt come from?
“I like this. It’s like I am wearing a dress made from pancake!”
Why are you naked?
What is that smell?
How did your pants get in the toaster?
Why does this room look like a bakery exploded?
Burn bacon

Breakfast for Dinner

Everybody Do Their Share

This is the text I just sent to Doug:

“So I was brushing my teeth and I hear what sounded like a wave crashing in the kitchen. Knowing full well that there is not an ocean in our house, I ran toward the sound to find Billie standing in 2 inches of lemonade crying. We get towels to clean up, but she is so out of her mind bereft that she can’t calm down enough to wipe up the mess. So we stand there, together, in a pool of lemonade and do our belly breaths until she calms down. I finally get her calm, go to grab the lysol, and she moved to walk out of the room to get another towel and does this cartoon style flip and lands ass up on the kitchen floor. I can’t help it- I laugh- and in doing so, I lose my footing, slip, and shower us both in Lysol. We just sat there, in 2+ inches of Lysol lemonade, giggling manically until I realized I was the adult and had to handle the situation.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is: I mopped the kitchen floor. Sorta. You’re welcome.”

He is one lucky guy.

Everybody Do Their Share