Breakfast for Dinner

My Plan:
Make Billie breakfast for dinner and clean the house before Doug gets home.

What Actually Happened:
Start making bacon
Dog flips over it’s dish
Clean up dog dish
Get out ingredients for mini muffin tin pancakes
Let Billie help
Salt spills all over the floor
Turn bacon
Slip in salt upon closing the oven door after turning bacon
Billie pours milk in the Dog’s dish, because, naturally, it “makes my bones healthy so it will make her bones healthy. Oh! Maybe we can make pancakes IN the dog dish!!”
Clean up dog dish
Stir pancake ingredients
Too thick- add milk
Run out of milk- add yogurt
Billie dumps yogurt on her face trying to pour it into her mouth
Dog tries to lick it off
Clean Billie
Remove dog from room
Pancakes still too thick
“The batter feels like play-doh, mommy! Stick your hand in it”
Scratch making pancakes, play with “play-doh”
Play doh gets on walls
Billie slips in salt
Where did that yogurt come from?
“I like this. It’s like I am wearing a dress made from pancake!”
Why are you naked?
What is that smell?
How did your pants get in the toaster?
Why does this room look like a bakery exploded?
Burn bacon

Breakfast for Dinner

Since Our Theme Is: Failing

Every week I’ll write an original post followed by a series of memories/ flashbacks from Billie’s earlier life that fit that theme.

Thanks to this (http://wp.me/p4mSL2-4) lovely little starter post, our theme for this week shall be failing.

It’s OK to fail. Especially as a parent. In fact- imagine if you didn’t fail. If you were a perfect parent. Your kid would be the most sheltered, privileged little turd muffin this side of the Milky Way. And we don’t want that, do we?

So fail, ya’ll. Fail hard. And Often.

Here’s a story about that one time I jeopardized a dead rabbit, burned oil, and taught my 2 year old how to cuss:

Continue reading “Since Our Theme Is: Failing”

Since Our Theme Is: Failing