A Good Bye?

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The other parents at gymnastics get these huge, unprompted hugs goodbye. I watch their kids rush toward the gym excitedly only to catch themselves, pulled back by some invisible thread, and throw the whole weight of their tiny bodies into their parents’ arms.

“I love you sooooo much! Have a good day!” they say.

I get no such response. Usually, unless I explicitly remind her that I exist, Billie will methodically pull her things out of her backpack, place them into her cubby in a precise order, then rush off to the balance beam without so much as a glance back. 

In an attempt to get some sort of fanfare for my daily departure, I’ve finally incorporated a “find a way to say Goodbye” rule. It doesn’t have to be showy or even involve touch or words, but she does need to communicate that we’re parting.

Today, after her methodical cubby placement routine and in the midst of two other moms receiving the most genuine hugs from their kids, I tell Billie, “I’m leaving now, love. Can you find a way to say goodbye?”

She walks over to me, hands stubbornly stuck to her side, shoves her face in my chest, and screams,
“GOODBYE WOMAN. GOODBYE FOREVVVVVEEERRRR!!!”
then
“Oooh! Your boobs are almost as bouncy as the floor. Good job on that. Later, lady!!!”

…I’m starting to rethink my rule.

A Good Bye?

The Formidable Debating Prowess of a Six Year Old

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Billie: “Moooommmm. I can’t go to the bathroom. It’s dark in there.”
Me: “You have a flashlight to get you to the bathroom and then you can turn on the light once you get there.”
Billie: “BUT WHAT IF A ZOMBIE ATTACKS ME?”
Me: “Then I will grow wings and fly to you, bite off the zombie’s head with my bare teeth, and fly on a unicorn back to bed. Where I belong. Because I’m sleeping.”
Billie: “But- but unicorns don’t exist?”
Me: “NIETHER DO ZOMBIES.”
Billie: “BUT I’M SCARED AND I WILL LITERALLY PEE ON YOU.”

Parenting: Wherein you can solve the problem, be totally right, have completely sound logic, and still 100% lose the battle.

The Formidable Debating Prowess of a Six Year Old

All That Glitters Is Black

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Billie: “Gold used to be my favorite color. When I was little, I would see it all the time. But now I don’t see it anymore. I dont think it even exists. So black is my favorite color now.”
Me: “When did you used to see the color gold?”
Billie: “Like, all the time. It would be glittering on the trees and sometimes in my candy. But now I don’t see it anymore. All I see is black. So, yeah. Black is my favorite color now.”

😐😯😦:'(😭😭😭

All That Glitters Is Black

Playtime

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Billie: “🎶Drink up the poison!
Then die a terrible death!
Drink up the poisoooonnnnnn!
Then die die DIIIIIEEEEEE.🎶”
Doug: “Billie, let’s not make up songs about murder or people dying, ok?”
Billie: “WHAT!? WHY NOT??”
Doug: “Because it’s not always approp—”
Billie: “But, no dad. This is how I play.”
Doug: “Your idea of ‘playing’ is to ride around on your scooter and sing songs about death?”
Billie: “Yea!!! Wait… Yours isn’t??”

She’s gunna be a ball of fun when she’s a teenager.

Playtime

I’m So Glad We Let Her Stay Up Late

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Billie: “Hey, mom. You’re getting older.”
Me: “Why do you say that?”
Billie: “Because you’re getting fluffier.”
Me: “uh, thanks. Thanks, Billie.”
Billie: “No problem. Hey, mom!”
Me: “Yes, Billie?”
Billie: “If my finger was a person, your cheek could be the trampoline. BOINGY!  BOINGY! See? You’re bouncy everywhere!”
Me: “….Goodnight, Billie.”

I’m So Glad We Let Her Stay Up Late

Art Thou Not Entertained?

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In reference to:  This Video

I showed this to Billie and she’s been obsessing over it all day. This is the conversation we had as I put her to bed tonight:

Billie: “Mom, that architect, he made that beautiful church and then he died. He never saw it. He never got to see his own art.”

Me: “No. But, sometimes that’s not why you create things. Sometimes you create things to bring joy and to help other people even if you aren’t around to see the results.”

Billie: “So he creates this amazing thing and he doesnt even get to see people looking at it? He doesnt get to watch them as they tell him how great it is?”

Me: “No. He doesn’t. He put his heart and soul into something and he knew he wasn’t going to live to see it but he created it anyway. He probably thought that other people enjoying it was more important than him seeing it completed.”

Billie: “That sounds like it would take a lot of work. And love.”

Me: “It definitely would. It would take both of those things.”

Art Thou Not Entertained?

A Higher Power

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*While doing her hair*

Billie: “I wish I was in Jesus right now floating in the clouds!”

Me: “You wish you were in Jesus?”

Billie: “Yes! Floating in the clouds!”

Me: “But, like, *in* Jesus, though? Who wishes to be in Jesus?”

Billie: “SOMEONE WHO’S GETTING THEIR HAIR RIPPED OUT OF THEIR SKULL, MOTHER!!!!!”

…I really enjoy this precious moments with her.

A Higher Power

Counting the Daze

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Billie: “Mama Ma, I get to see you soon!”
My Mom: “I know! I’m excited.”
Billie: “T-minus 91 days!”
My Mom: “Wait, what?”
Billie: “It means I get to see you in 91 days!”
My Mom: “I know what it means, but how did you come up with 91 days?”
Billie: “I counted. I need to know these things.”
My Mom: “Oh, my Billie. You are too funny.”
Billie: “I am actually entirely serious.”

You tell ’em Billie.

Counting the Daze