Billie: “You’re wrong, mom. I did not eat the candy. I just bit it with my teeth. I said, ‘oh, yous a bad candy. I will bite your face off!’ and I bit it. I didn’t eat it, mom. My mouth just put it in time out.”
Cuisine Du Billie (complete with translations):
“Chocolate sandwich” = Nutella and toast
“Pancakes with square pockets for extra syrup” = Waffles
“Soup pasgetti (spaghetti)” = Pho
FLASHBACK: October 21, 2013
So. After my lovely friend, Sissy, swept and mopped the entire house Billie decided to dump pepper in the kitchen.
I told her to go get the broom and dustpan but, after five minutes, there was still a pepper mountain and no broom in sight. I walk into the next room to almost step into a puddle.
Billie: “Watch out, mommy, I went pee pee on the floor!”
Me: “What. Why??”
Billie: “My body just had to go pee and I had to listen and then things got crazy.”
Me: “…And WHY do all your stuffed animals have cherry tomatoes in their mouths!?!?”
Billie: “I TOLD YOU: Things. Got. Crazy.”
What.
…There is not enough patience in this world.
Bright side: my three year old now knows how to sweep and mop with the best of them.
Billie's Momma 