Billie picked up a dandelion. She put it to my lips and said, “Make a wish, mommy!”
I obliged.
Billie: “What did you wish for?”
Me: “I can’t tell you- then it won’t come true.”
Billie: “No. I don’t like that.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Billie: “If you don’t tell people what your wishes are then they can’t help them come true. You have to tell people what your wishes are. People can only help if they know.”
Screw the superstitions. I like her logic way better.
I work a lot.
Like, A LOT.
And I love my job. It’s ridiculous and fulfilling and filled with the coolest people on this (and every other) universe.
But I work a lot.
And, when you work a lot, you tend to miss out on hanging out with your child.
So, tonight, I came home to a Billie who was dead asleep. Billie has often been dead asleep when I crawl in to hug her goodnight. In the beginning, I was racked with guilt. I was a terrible mom. I felt the pressure to be there for every waking moment on top of being there for my family financially. It has always been tough and stressful and I constantly struggle with my role as a mommy in the workforce.
But tonight.
Tonight I came home and kissed a thoroughly asleep Billie. She unconsciously wrapped her arms around my neck as I kissed her cheek.
“Did you catch all the dragons, Mommy?” She says this without waking up.
…
Yes, Billie.
Yes I did.
Mommy loves you.
FLASHBACK: 27, February 2014.
Billie: “Mommy. I love you very twice.”
Me: “Very twice?”
Billie: “Yup! Dat’s a very much a lot.”
Me: “Aw, thanks, Billie. I love you so mu–”
Billie: “Oh, and mommy?”
Me: “Yes, love?”
Billie: “Our doggy is a butt princess.”
Well.
Okay, then.
Good talk.
Billie: “I wish I could be a dog so I can sniff things closer and dig lower like a dog. And lick the rain petals. I would lick all the rain dry.”
Billie: “We need to make a birthday cake.”
Me: “Who’s birthday is it?”
Billie: “Um. The day’s?”
Me: “It’s the day’s birthday?”
Billie: “Yea. This day has never lived before. Let’s bake it a cake.”
Me: “That is the coolest thing ever. Yes, I will bake a cake for the day.”
Billie: “Actually, no. I don’t think I want to do that. Let’s make a cake for my puppy dog.”
Me: “WHAT? You don’t wanna bake a cake for the day? I thought that was awesome.”
Doug (ever the buzzkill): “Why would you want her to bake a cake for the day?”
Me: “Because it’s never lived before!”
Doug: “Technically, it has. In a parallel universe.”
Billie: “YEA! That’s what I thought. That’s why I changed it to my puppy dog.”
Me: “Are you two kidding me?! Billie, you seriously just changed your mind because you had complicated thoughts on string theory?”
Billie: “Mommy. You don’t know my thoughts. It’s crazy in my head. Now let’s bake a cake for my puppy dog.”
“I can’t take a shower. All I can do is stay alive. And poop.”
And
“The Sandman got me in my eyes. Right in my eyes. All they want to do is close. I don’t think he knew that I was trying to party.”
Billie's Momma 