child
“You don’t know my thoughts!” The life of the tortured artist/ toddler
Tricksy Sandman
“Let’s Bake It A Cake”
Lost In Translation
FLASHBACK: November 13, 2013
Me: “okay, you’re almost ready for school. You just need to finish your breakfast, brush your teeth, and put on your shoes.”
Billie: “OK. I need to take off my clothes and play with my baby lion.”
Me: “yea, no. That’s not even close to what I said. What did I just tell you to do?”
Billie: “you said, ‘OOOOOHHweeee Billie Baby you needta dance yo lil booty off bay-beh!'”
Me: “nope. Not what I said.”
Billie: “But, mommy, (starts chanting) you like mah boooooty you like mah booooottttaye!!!!”
Me: sigh.
Billie: (now dancing in circles) “Shake-ah shake-ah shake-ah shake-ah shakin my booootaye! Shake-ah shake-ah shake-ah shake-ah shakin my booootaye!!!!”
…Ya’ll, if I could make it just one morning without this kid showin’ me her butt I would consider it the greatest of all personal wins.
Wherein We Make Communal Wishes
Billie picked up a dandelion. She put it to my lips and said, “Make a wish, mommy!”
I obliged.
Billie: “What did you wish for?”
Me: “I can’t tell you- then it won’t come true.”
Billie: “No. I don’t like that.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Billie: “If you don’t tell people what your wishes are then they can’t help them come true. You have to tell people what your wishes are. People can only help if they know.”
Screw the superstitions. I like her logic way better.
Motherhood & Slaying Dragons
I work a lot.
Like, A LOT.
And I love my job. It’s ridiculous and fulfilling and filled with the coolest people on this (and every other) universe.
But I work a lot.
And, when you work a lot, you tend to miss out on hanging out with your child.
So, tonight, I came home to a Billie who was dead asleep. Billie has often been dead asleep when I crawl in to hug her goodnight. In the beginning, I was racked with guilt. I was a terrible mom. I felt the pressure to be there for every waking moment on top of being there for my family financially. It has always been tough and stressful and I constantly struggle with my role as a mommy in the workforce.
But tonight.
Tonight I came home and kissed a thoroughly asleep Billie. She unconsciously wrapped her arms around my neck as I kissed her cheek.
“Did you catch all the dragons, Mommy?” She says this without waking up.
…
Yes, Billie.
Yes I did.
Mommy loves you.
Today’s Billie Quotes
“I can’t take a shower. All I can do is stay alive. And poop.”
And
“The Sandman got me in my eyes. Right in my eyes. All they want to do is close. I don’t think he knew that I was trying to party.”
“My Tongue Wants to Run Out of My Mouth”
Billie: “Mom. I can’t keep talking to boring people. When I talk to boring people my tongue wants to run out of my mouth. My words die. I have to save my tongue. From now on, I just want the weird people. They make my mouth happy.”
#ThanksHalloween
credit: Vanessa Lucas (https://www.facebook.com/Just4TheeTaste?fref=ts)
Billie: “You’re wrong, mom. I did not eat the candy. I just bit it with my teeth. I said, ‘oh, yous a bad candy. I will bite your face off!’ and I bit it. I didn’t eat it, mom. My mouth just put it in time out.”
Billie's Momma 